I'm trying to conquer the "hollow" within,i need...strength!!.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

1)Here's how you play the game
2)Put Your Music player on shuffle
3)Press Forward for each question
4)Use the song title as an asnwer to the question even if it doesn't make sense
5)Tag other 5 people to ask them to do this!

-How you feeling today?
Lost wings-Kajiura Yuki
confused...

-Will you get far in life?
Life-YUI
i can change my life??

-How do your friends see you?
Rolling Star-YUI
hmm...how should i put this...i want to live in a world where peace is the way of life??

-Will you get married?
Tomorrow's way-YUI
let tomorrow worry for itself?

-What is your best friend's theme song?
Rolling Star-YUI
sorry but yeah its rolling star again...

-What is your life's story?
If you are my love-Kajira Yuiki
hoping for someone that will always stay by my side?

-What was high school like?
Rush-UVERworld
hectic i guess and busy of course...

-How can you get ahead of life?
Tonight,Tonight,Tonight-Beat Crusader
er....just play along??

-What is the best things about your friends?
Baby it's you-JUNE
eh...they keep telling me that im the one that is thinking too much?and not to worry about anything too much?

-What is in store this weekend?
Fields of Hope-Rie Tanaka
Hope??hontoni??

-What song describes you??
D-tecnolife -UVERworld
hm...not making sense...im not so headstrong as what the song describes

-To describe your grandparents?
Life is like a boat-Rie Fu
hm....shiranai...

-How is your life going?
Fukai Mori-unknown
dunno....

-What song will they play at your funeral?
Motherland-Crystal Kay
does it mean im going back home?

-How does the world see you?
Tsubasa,the feather of love-FictionJuntionKAORI
er...as someone who is every changing??dunno if its good way of bad way

-Will you have a happy life?
I wanna go to a place-Gundam Seed Destiny
after i find the place...probably

-What do your friends really think about you?
Ai Ta KOKORO-UVERworld
hm...shiranai...

-Do people secretly lusts after you?
Lost wings-Kajiura Yuki
nonsensical i guess

-How can i make myself happy?
Goodbye days-YUI
if possible not to be sad anymore??

-What should you do with your life?
Rolling Star-YUI
seriously man...whats with this song...maybe i should try to achieve the 'dream'?

-Will you ever have children?
Life is like a boat-Rie Fu
not untill i get married at least?

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 3:36 PM

Sunday, November 26, 2006

im feeling very down currenly lah...so people who talked to me in msn if i replied u harshly im sorry okay??im abit messed up just now..as usual...on the verge to be consumed by hatred...im suffocating..i dont know why im so full of it...im trying very very hard to forget it and my dear nichloas i said im trying very very hard...dont worry i wont leave myself in a lurch not doing anything about my current situation...thanks for bothering to talk to me and just ask what happens...you actually made me feel that im loved for once after so long..thank you but i still find it hard to open up to people...im trying hard to open up to you...sorry u have to wait for that...as of the current situation i think i'll figure it out somehow...

once again thanks ah nick...despite all my scoldings for you you're still here for me some poeple will probably give up on me...so yeah..thanks again...love ya lots <33 =)

(oi ppl dont get it wrong ah please be more open minded u will probably say that you your bestie too)

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 12:36 AM

Friday, November 24, 2006

yo people...just come back from michelle's birthday challet yesterday...it was fun and tiring at the same time...didnt really sleep for long...and unfortunately i'm abit lazy to update it so yeah...moreover something bad as in really bad happened solved though and im glad it is =))

went over to nick's house after that...coz mom not at home...then we slept in the bus...we missed a stop!! ahhhh lucky i saw katherine or else we will be at woodlands by then...then went down to the kopitiam and eat 3 egg prata while nick continued sleeping...till i finish eating then we went up to the house...chatted with his mom and angel abit before they went out,then we went into the room...i slept lah...darn tired then woke up and then i was damn hyper...but nick was sleepy now or hungry dunno him la...haha then we went down for dinner had fried rice and sweet n sour pork for dinner damn full eh...like at least a proper food after 3 days haha

went home and slept...and then this afternoon went over again...crapped and talked then went down for dinner again same thing =.= fried rice hokkien mee and 2 chicken wings ahhaa but satisfying though...and here i am blogging haha

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 12:16 AM

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head:
01:Nick
02:Daniel
03:Alicia
04:Dave
05:Kezia
06:Moses
07:Jayson
08:Wan Jun
09:Teck tee
10:Caryl
11:Crystal
12:Llester Choy
13:Alena
14:Alane
15:Mark Chua
16:Lin Jie
17:Christie
18:Norfi
19:Ervin
20:Endi

-When did you meet #04?
hm... few months back during national day celebration in the school took place

-Would you date #07?
are you out of your freeking mind damn it??of course NO

-Have you been in a serious relationship with #20?
=.- another yet stupid question...NO

-What would you do if you never met #01?
er...i guess i wouldnt be as crappy as i am now,but i would have missed a good listener and brother =))
-What would you do if #09 and #02 dated?
you are actually asking me??why dont you ask him but i'll save you the trouble NO

-Did you ever like #19?
as a friend yes...but not more than that thank you =.=

-Would #o6 and #17 be a good couple?
damn...i dont think so

-Do you think #o8 is attractive?
meh meh ?? NOOOO she is scary

-What would you do if#11 confesses to you that he/she likes you?
kinda impossible isnt it??
-What language does #15 speaks?
English & Chinese lah d-uh...
-Who is #o9 going out with?
dont know...but i have an answer though...mind your own buisness lol

-How old is #16 now?
gonna be 16 soon i guess

-When is the last time you spoke to #13?
my birthday celebration

-What is #o2's favourite band or singer?
thats easy MR.Big righhht??

-Would you date #1o?
she is attached man...i dont wanna be the extra>.<>

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 9:37 PM

i still havent been able to fix the previous post ppl..sorry you have to highlight it in order to see the rest and the crazy big fonts are yes...crazy..sorry for that blogger is kinda screwed up nowadays

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 2:08 PM

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Instructions 1:

Name 13 who come straight to your mind......

Dun cheat or read the questions underneath first.

Instructions 2:

Answer the questions

instructions 3:

Afterwards,tag 6 people to do the same

Friends:

1-Geraldine EE

2-Xiao han

3-Nicholas Ng

4-Daniel Seah

5-Kezia

6-Moses

7-mark chua

8-Alena

9-alane

10-caryl

11-dave

12-alicia

13-wan jun

Questions~

1-how did u meet 10?

i got to know her from Benjamin chiew

2-what would u do if u never met 1?

I wouldn’t have been able to complete my dnt work if not for her printer xD domo arigatou gozaimasu nana-mama chan

3-what would u do if 6 and 10 dated?

Damn its never going to happen they don’t even know each other. But if it ever happens, I wish them all the best

4-have u seen 4 cried?

I don’t think so...he is too much of a joker to cry xP keep it up Daniel

5-Do u think 10 is cute?

lol she yearns for chocolate all the time but cute...i dont think she falls into the category maybe another category perhaps XD

6-how did u get to know 8
from mark I guess…we went to watch movie together with whole bunch of people

7-would u ever go on a date with 12?

Seriously I don’t know…hahaha maybe yes maybe no

8-what is number 7's favourite colour?
damn honestly I don’t know haha white??

9-what would u do if 6 confess he/she loves you

erm…I’ll ask him to screw himself man and meanwhile I will run to save myself from his gayness xD

10-state a fact about 9
she is a nice girl that accompanies me to loiter around the school when they are free periods xP

11-who is 4 going out with?
erm… so k-po mind your own business lah!

12-who is number 5 to u?
a good friend that gives you positive advices all the time =))

13-will u ever live with 13?
damn,NO she is violent but funny person though =))

14-is 2 single?
how many times do I have to tell you to mind your own business??

15-what do u think about 3?

Omg,I love him lots man!![Don’t get the wrong idea ppl] I didn’t want to be like bothered with him much with him at first, but somehow started talking to each other and he can really piss me off at times,he doesn’t make sense most the time,he is full of shit BUT he is a good friend to me =))rock on nick!

Many many fond memories though time span were short

16-what is the best thing about number 8?

No idea? I guess it’s her crazy mood swing haha

17-what do u like about 11?
you guys should really learn from him he has a very humble attitude and accepts advices with open mind I like that part of him the most good job dave =)

18-favourite memories with 6?
hmm…I don’t know…can I change it to 3 and 4 instead haha we had snails+slugs extermination campaign haha and it rocked!!

and the 6 people award that are supposed to do this are
...anyone who could be bothered to do this xP

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 11:46 PM

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

as of today's event, which is my birthday...woke up in the morning and checked on my phone yea. there were 22 messages received yea...all were birthday wishes...thanks to those people who wished me!!

then met daniel at the condo's side gate and then headed down to CSC bukit batok,met alicia and alena there played bowling 2 games,the lady at the counter were super rude please??!! and then we went on playing for 2 games untill around 12+pm and daniel were enjoying himself taking pictures and videos of my stupid actions the three of them;alicia alena and daniel laughed their ass off...alicia kicked ass in bowling haha pro ah :MAN LESTER AND NICHOLAS missed hell lotsa fun in the bowling alley haha agree daniel??

yea then we went to sake sushi for LUNCH GYU DON ROCKS THE HOUSE MAN!! haha yeah...i solo-ed the whole plate of KAKIYAGE after which i was super full... then we sat down and chatted there for like pretty long then we decided to move out after i was bloated with the ocha

alicia have to go home she couldnt come to us with orchard pang seh...haha joking,then we went to town...which was lester's first visit to the town itself...can you believe it???a singaporean never visited the townside of singapore before man,he lose out to foreigners like me and many others ok yea..we got down at marina square and took a look at the newly renovated marina square and then shortly after that we start to take some dumb pictures which i will post next time

then we went for dinenER AT KFC then nick aand daniel got me and lester chocolate cakes oh well...it was damn nice but haha nvm thanks guys it has been fun and all love you ppl lots

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 10:16 PM

yo ppl, thanks for those who tried to ummm cheer me up these few days i think im kinda fine now...so yeah..don't worry too much i wont drink anymore coz like promised to 3 individuals namely For God's sake,*ahem*'s sake and nick's so like screw alcohols xP.tmr will be my Clb paper damn...i hate it.

anyways about yesterday..
went out with nick to umm orchard HMV wanted to get the new UVERworld album...but i almost died on the spot it cost like $72 damn it for 12 bloody songs and its not like they have any special features like posters or whatsoever...and HMV still doesn't have YUI's album screw them...haha.

then after that we went to botanical garden...then when i got down the bus i realized that it was still raining.but since we're there so i though might a s well just go in...if not it will be a waste of effort.and of course bus fares...then on the way to the toilet,we saw this small frog that probably were only few weeks at most a month old jumping in the rain then he picked it up and then flung it down the floor few 10 seconds later... =.= cruel little brat...

then walked the whole botanical garden...and then went to the orchid park...and to the cool house in the orchid park it was damn cold i tell you especially since it was raining and stuff pretty cold i didnt wanna get out of the cool house man it was so comfortable and the environment were so natural and all its nice i hope i have a house like that xP.Then for the whole walk in the garden which took like 2hours and 30 minutes he kept on saying "is that a frog??" or either that he will go like "uh shit did i just stepped on a frog??"so funny couldn't stand him...

then after we went out of the orchid park went to the concert platform hoping that they have some orchestra or anything there but it was raining,so you know the rest of the story...lalala then nick forced me to go for dinner at china town's mouth kitchen with his parents...like so awkward pls...like so disturbing i didnt feel good but went anyway...then during the dinner he kept on saying smth that when we leave the place after that made him felt guilty...so i taunt him with the guilt on our whole journey back to plaza singapura...

went to play lan till 10.30 then headed home...went home bathed then called lester and and IM THE FIRST ONE TO WISH HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! but see hui and wan jun will kill me for doing that BEHOLD THE HORROR OF THE TERROR TWINS!!haha talked to lester till 1.30 am then continued with daniel and nick on msn till 2.10 then slept

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 10:16 PM

Thursday, November 09, 2006

oh yes i love this song!! it strengthened me somehow although im still abit down
here you go

This is my father's world.O let me never forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong
Gos is the ruler yet
This is my Father's world;Why should my heart be sad
The Lord is King let the Heavens ring
God reigns :let the earth be glad

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 11:49 PM

i cried again last night...like omg pls after i dont know how long...a year or so...is this what you call emotional state??screw it man...

nobody knows who i really am,
i've never felt this empty before,
and if i ever need someone to come along,
who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong??

And,still the journey goes on.
Even on tranquil days so long,
And each new phase of the moon
shines upon my heart with boon

So i offer a prayer,
waiting for a new day to share,
Untill the brilliant blue sea
dries up completely...

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 1:50 PM

tired to play the guitar but yeah...failed... then after that i was opening up drawer for my mp3 as in to look for extra battery for my mp3 then a piece of neoprint slipped of from somewhere...it was the piece of pictures taken with Gerri,xiao han and... someone i do not want to mention...unknowingly i picked the paper up and start looking at it and start thinking backwards at the beginning of the year...before i even thought of the importance of the o's
i'm damn emo now and i hate myself for that...I've tried very very hard to forget about the torn up memories that has began to take place from 3 years ago...whenever i try to remember it i feel so hurt,unknowingly tears always start to fall even though i didn't want them to...

i guess there are certain things that even time cannot heal,close up or make me forget...so...as usual i will start drinking so like yah...finished off a new bottle of wine that my dad just bought...unknowingly...getting slight headache threw up while updating this...
so much pain that it became hatred that burns...tormenting flames of hatred...i hope it just goes away...

i will try to forget...this past has been tormenting me for the whole year now...i dont want to remember those...the pain is unbearable...for so many times i tried to forgive you but i just cant
if the past were so tormenting i would rather forget it but it's just too difficult to forget...am i going to drown myself in sorrows again?i dont know but surely this isnt the time to..

Listening to: Tomorrow's way-Yui

"if living is a battle,i have no choice but to wither win or lose" i guess its right...i'll try,to win that is...

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 12:02 AM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

ooo~! haven't been lazy to update lately yea i know...because blogger is kinda irritating nowadays and also my o's are going on so like yeah...boring...
talked to dave the other day,cheer up kays?? my mom's like that too...its all a parcel of life =))

picked up my guitar from daniel yesterday...its nice, but i havent learn how to play yet...so like yeah...DANIEL you better help me !!xP

guess what?! MERGER AND SEPARATION CAME OUT FOR SS which is apparently the only few topics i read hahaha i was like *THANK GOD* then i somehow heard something went like "miracles don't happen twice for lazy bums again Ryan better study for history" i was like "alright cool" *scribbles scribbles*

maths and chem abit screwed up i guess...im gonna work harder for physics...
i was talking to nick awhile ago...there was a funny conversation,because i was complaining about my screwed up lappy keyboard so it went like
Me :fucking irritating
Nick :what?
Nick :who??
Me :Keyboard lah...
Nick :lol
Nick :chillllllll
Nick :i think u better go shower n sleep now u very growchy(and by the way its grouchy NICK)
Me :i'm damn irritated by everything now leh
Nick :lol i know
Nick :cause ryan gor gor is grouchy
Me : wtf...

then i went to bathe n sleep after that...haha so entertaining...kinda miss his nonsense now...
so like yeah..i better go study now...

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 7:15 PM

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

nothing much has been happening this few weeks...just hanging out at some weird places...
this study break hasn't been fruitful to me...seriously i need to buck up...if not i have this feeling im gonna repeat sec 5 again...and i so not want to go to ITE so yeah oh well guess i will start studying soon.

Nicholas is coming over to stay at the house later...and my alternate bed is still super messy..>.

the last time it even happened was....let me see...the Japanese exchange programme took place?? yea i think so...oh well i missed those times seriously...those were the time....fun laughter peace and enjoyment prevailed...

i guess i'll go and do smth useful now..cya around peeps

Form your resolve. Charge forward. Leave no regrets. 3:53 PM